How to tell when the love is gone

Everyone has their own description of what it feels like when the love is lost. I’m going to tell you how I knew EVERY TIME love was gone. Dear reader, don’t act like you’ve never been in love more than once; if so, I slightly feel sorry for you.

ATTITUDE

I believe that it begins with my attitude. You will see that I slowly become more agitated by the day. It will start with nagging about little minor things like leaving the lights on or failure to supply more toilet paper after using the last roll. At first I will nag you, but then you will start to realize that I no longer say anything; instead, I’ll turn the light off and purchase more toilet paper. You will wonder why I am so calm. The calm before the storm.

The Calm before the storm.

MIND IS ELSEWHERE

When you talk, you will notice that I give you two word phrases like ‘oh yea’, ‘that’s cool’, ‘yea sure’. At this point I’ve mentally shifted to focusing on myself and nothing you say is important. You will start to notice that I spend more time at the gym, I don’t eat dinner when you do, and laundry is no longer consistently getting done; forcing you to pick up the slack. You’ve noticed that I even started working on myself and looking GOOD. You begin to realize you’ve got a fine woman; however, you can’t quite understand why she’s been holding back and unaffectionate.

NO SEXUAL DESIRE

This might be the worst part for you. You realize that I’m always on my dam period. You try to research how my ongoing period has turned into a yeast infection, which then turned into BV, and dam, now a UTI. To make matters worse, you realize that I started wearing lipstick EVERYDAY, which warrants an excuse not to kiss you.

ZERO FUCKS

At this point I don’t even care if you come home. You could be in a car accident and I would tell you to call a Lyft because Timothy doesn’t like me driving out so late.

Also read, Silly Games Lovers Play – After Dark and My Addiction to Masturbation Helped my Sex Life.

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